This is cross-posted from an entry on The Monica Edwards Weblog:

It is 2 am Friday morning, I will be leaving in approximately 17 hours for San Jose and the Blogher conference. My husband asked me if I was excited, I said “No, I’m nervous”. Why am I nervous? Well let’s go down the list shall we?

1. I am very new to blogging. I have no idea what I will talk to other women about. My husband explained to me today that I blog using Expression Engine. What does that mean to me? Not a whole lot.
2. I am to blog live from the various sessions I attend, how do I listen and type with two fingers at the same time?
3. I hate to fly.
4. I’m scared my hotel reservation will somehow be void for some unknown reason. (Paranoia setting in)
5. I am leaving my two-year old alone with my husband for 24 hours. When I come home, he will have mastered Halo or have his own podcast.
6. Reading other posts from the women attending, it seems a lot of us are worried about what to wear, and whether we will be pedicured. I feel frumpy in any clothing I own and as of now my toes are hanging on to the remnants of a pedicure from months ago.
7. The new pill my OB prescribed is making me break out like a teenager in the midst of puberty, oh joy.
8. I hate to admit that I have not read many blogs so therefore will not know if I encounter a “celebrity” blogger. I apologize ahead of time.
9. I am very bad, no really, very bad, at remembering names. So if it seems like I am staring at your boob, I am only trying to ingrain your name from your name tag, into my brain.
10. I get all flustered talking to new people so it seems as if I’m interrupting when I am really trying to avoid the awkward lull in a conversation, so I tend to speak before the other person is finished. Bad habit.

These are only 10 reasons I am a nervous wreck, I could go on but will have to sleep sometime before my two-year old wakes up.

I noticed while reading the other posts that I became more nervous of the kind of impression I will make meeting everyone. Will I fit into a niche? Am I a mommy-blogger? Or something altogether different? Thank God my sister is coming with me. Although she is not a blogger by all accounts, she does write for a site of ours. She possesses more social skills than I and will hopefully keep me in check as she is the queen of etiquette. She will remember names.

I also wondered why it is that women care so much to impress other women more so than wanting to impress men, when we should all be sisters and not care what we all look like or have on? We are so insecure and put so much pressure on ourselves. Why is that? I am asking because I do it also. Would everyone feel better if we all wore uniforms to Blogher? I wonder. I want to go and have fun and not have to worry if my toes match my outfit, but I know that I will be secretly obsessing about it. It’s just in our nature. Well, at least we will know that we care enough to shower and change our underwear .

It is late and I am now rambling. If I have the energy later in the morning maybe I will do my toes, in between packing and the chaos of a 2 year-old and 11 year-old shouting to see which one is louder. Hmm...San Jose is looking a little less scary.

Cross-posted from my personal blog, The Monica Edwards Weblog:

Eight days to go before I head off to the Golden State for my very first showing at the Blogher Conference. I am nervous about it, I have no idea what to expect. And I had never flown by myself in all of my 35 years, can you believe it? That is why I convinced my sis to spend oh-$400 or so of her hard-earned money to hold my hand during the flight as well as through the Conference, little did she know my true intentions .  I told her it would be good for her, as a way to be introduced into the blogging world, in case she has a sudden interest in a career change. But really, she is going for my own selfish reasons, hehe. (That’ll teach you for not helping me pick lavender in the scorching heat!)

My husband wants me to go for the business. He is the one who registered me and convinced me, to be able to learn more about the blogging world from the female point of view and to write about it. I am so intimidated by all the women who attend. I know it is my own insecurity, I have many if you have not noticed by now. I am trying to break out of this hard-as-a-rock shell I have built for myself and it is a slow process. I suppose I am going for myself, as a step towards cracking that shell. I DO want to meet people, women, who have so much knowledge and insight to share- I want to be able to fit into the niche of women writers who flourish in this environment of self expression. Now I just have to convince myself of that, then I will be ready to go.

I will only be attending one day of the conference as the 1st day was sold-out by the time I was convinced to go. It will be a nice trip though I think. I hope to come away from it with new friends and some idea of what “blogging” really encapsulates. I hope to see some familiar faces also, for that moral support I will definitely be needing, ( Ponzi and Julie, please help:) ). I would also like my sister to take something from this, maybe to help her see a vision of something new she may do in life as an alternative to the daily grind she faces at her job now.

Eight days to go and counting...(stomach turning). Look for me and say hello, I will be the one standing in the corner trying to look like I know what I’m talking about, with “Virgin Blogger” written across my forehead.

If you are a woman looking to make a name for yourself on the Internet, BlogHer is for you. This blog will be covering the BlogHer Conference, reporting back with impressions and observations. Anyone who has attended the conference previously knows that deep conversation are had and raised at the event, so watch this space for our take.

To visit the official BlogHer blog, social community and conference site, please point your browser to http://blogher.org.